Full Moon Tonight

I'm sort of in a funk - my thoughts and mood all over the place and I'm blaming it on the full moon!

After four and one half relaxing days in my favorite vacation destination I spent today at home before I leave for Chicago and football tomorrow. Vacation was fun - not great weather but good enough. Two open water swims, one day at the beach, too much to drink, just enough time with my friend's two children :) and lots of sleep, good food and conversation.

Lately there have been tons of articles about breast feeding (touting it as the best thing since sliced bread and stating that NOT breast feeding is akin to child abuse, um, give me a break) and how America is currently baby obsessed. I feel like I can't go one week without having to have a conversation about breast feeding and it kind of drives me crazy. Thankfully my friend with the two children that visited while we were on vacation is not nursing but she has decided to stay at home.

We spoke about baby obsession, nursing and stay at home moms a fair amount and I came back here for my in between day NOT WANTING TO GO BACK TO WORK ... but, I'll admit, my day at home was kind of boring. I slept in, finished my book, went swimming and bike riding and did a ton of laundry but ... yeah, not thrilling. I know that when you have kids its a whole different ball game and I think I'd have a hard time leaving them with a stranger at too young an age and I would definitely like to not HAVE to work but ... I don't think I could just sit home either.

Someone I work with gets ANGRY whenever she speaks to another woman who says she wants to stay at home after having kids - she says that women didn't fight all these years for this generation to revert to the 1950s. We talked about that this week on vacation and someone said smartly that no, they didn't work all those years so that this generation could revert to an earlier time - they worked all these years so that we could have a choice about how we spend our days and nights. That arguably obvious statement made me feel much better about the dilemma - which for me is very, very hypothetical but as the articles say, its sort of a societal obsession so even those who aren't dealing with the dilemma are forced to address it - if I have a child I don't have to spend my days bare foot in the kitchen with a baby on my boob but I also don't have to drop my month old baby at an anonymous day care and continue to work a million hours a day - I get to choose. Now, if only I could get better at making decisions.

***

I don't have tickets to the game this weekend and in light of the fact that tickets are going for $500-$600 each I'm not real confident about a nice old man giving me his extra ticket for face value (it has happened before, I did have to do an Irish jig for those tickets but I've probably done more for less:)). I started emailing some Chicago friends that I hadn't spoken to in awhile and who I thought would also be attending ticketless. My first attempt resulted in the following reply:

"Yes, I am going to the game with my girlfriend. Her name is Charlotte. She has a lead on tickets." To which I replied, "Like the web?" and shockingly got no response.

My next more successful email was to an ex-ex boyfriend (not HIM but the ex-bf before him - we'll call him 2X). 2X was happy to hear from me, claims that he is single and said he would keep me posted on tailgating/game watching plans. I would say that our email resulted in witty banter which is not suprising - I now have a 1X to direct my anger and neurosis towards and I did date 2X for almost a year and I did like him (at the time) ... he re-emailed today to confirm our (non)plan to speak on Saturday to figure out where/when to meet.

Mean while, the Chicago friend that I am staying with is working some ticket leads and thinks she found one where the fact that I am fun, single and pretty might win out over the hundred of guys clamoring and likely willing to pay tons of money for the ticket. In theory I should be looking forward to this ... a new single guy, a potentially historical football game. But, the thing is, I'd rather get drunk with 2X, engage in some harmless flirting and, depending on the degree of drunkenness, maybe some public making out. I want someone to make me feel pretty and wanted and with 2X I'd put the odds of that at 85-90%. With random football guy its one great big unknown.

So, I'm blaming it on the full moon

In other news:

SWIM: open water; 34 minutes; AvgHR 128; MaxHR 152

BIKE: 15 miles (ouch); 1:30ish; RUN: 2 miles; 20ish; AvgHR 139; MaxHR 168

OFF DAY

SWIM: open water; 30 minutes; BIKE: 4.6 miles; RUN: 1 mile; AvgHR 136; MaxHR 170

OFF DAY

SWIM: 1200 yds (800yds in 15 minutes); BIKE: 3 miles