The next thing I write will be happy, I swear.

I'm tired. Mentally and physically tired. And emotional too. A great combination. Sunday we got home from grandma's around 10:30 and I went to bed at midnight. Monday I couldn't get up to workout and worked out for 1:30 after I got home from work. At nine. And then I made dinner. Tuesday a hockey game got out at the same time as my class and I got home at 11. Last night, our local bar that is closing wouldn't let me in, I got home form dinner and NOT going to the bar at 10 and decided to get in my workout. I finished around 11:30.

So its not surprising that I'm tired, physically or mentally really.

This time of year I always think back four years to when this Friday was April fool's day and my sister pranked me by saying she was pregnant. Except she almost gave me a heart attack and I didn't talk to her for 3 days. That Saturday two of my friends met and hit it off. The first weekend of this month they got engaged. And I only found out today because a third friend (who got married in Costa Rica last year) emailed to announce that he and his wife are expecting a baby so there'd be a one year old at the wedding of the other two friends that got engaged earlier this month. To find out like that made me sad. I know that people fall in love and weed out the relationships that don't matter as much. But you know what? If I had known I wasn't going to matter I wouldn't have given her subway directions to every single interview she went on that fall. I wouldn't have snuck out of work to rehash the interviews with her. I wouldn't have been there. Except I know that is a lie. I'm always there and even if I knew then what I know now, it doesn't mean that I would have mis-directed her to the 1&9. It just makes me sad, that they decided that they just didn't want to be my friend anymore. I think I'm pretty cool. Not a bad person to be friends with ... So yeah, imagine how I react when I find out that ex-boyfriends are getting married. Or when 'real' relationship ends.

And I realize that its silly to be this upset over something that matters so little in the grand scheme of things. So I must be mentally tired. Which is why I am leaving shortly to go shopping. And my next post will be happy. Really. I swear.