On Facebook and its Evils

or, With a Lump in My Throat and a Knot in My Stomach

I think it was the way I found out and the silence that followed that bothered me more than the news itself. And maybe there was a small part of me that thought we’d always wind up together - although, deep down I’m pretty sure I knew we wouldn’t. I acknowledge that the recent silence was probably my fault, coupled with his travel and the girl. But it wasn’t an unprecedented silence. It had happened before and one of us always reached out. This time it was me. On facebook of all things.

And when I wrote on his wall that we had to "get together soon and catch up" he didn’t respond. He just updated his status to ‘married’ and posted a picture of Them.

So, yeah. To summarize, he was my first crush, my first kiss, often my best friend, the only boy I’ve brought to my parent’s vacation home, someone who has both seen me cry and made me laugh until I cried. And he told me he was married by updating his FB status. I guess that means he doesn’t want to be friends anymore?

Even though we weren’t actively friends, I still considered him a friend … until yesterday. And I guess this explains the lump in my throat, the knot in my stomach and why I couldn't fall asleep last night. That and the world at large was warned to save all Announcements until September. I guess he doesn’t read the blog.

As an aside, I have to decide whether to spend this weekend at my parent's vacation home or at the beach and I'm not leaning one way or another. What do I do about that?