I'm Over It

I still find the events described in my last post extremely hurtful.  

And a bit immature in a way I could only explain if I went into the history.  And at this point its not just worth it.  

So whatever.  Someday he'll be sorry.  For now, I won't loose anymore sleep over it.

I bought a new shirt and I'm headed to the beach for the long weekend.  I might even kiss a boy.  Doubtful but possible.  I mean, I did sneak into a pool to swim tonight.  I'm apparently all about breaking the rules these days!

On Facebook and its Evils

or, With a Lump in My Throat and a Knot in My Stomach

I think it was the way I found out and the silence that followed that bothered me more than the news itself. And maybe there was a small part of me that thought we’d always wind up together - although, deep down I’m pretty sure I knew we wouldn’t. I acknowledge that the recent silence was probably my fault, coupled with his travel and the girl. But it wasn’t an unprecedented silence. It had happened before and one of us always reached out. This time it was me. On facebook of all things.

And when I wrote on his wall that we had to "get together soon and catch up" he didn’t respond. He just updated his status to ‘married’ and posted a picture of Them.

So, yeah. To summarize, he was my first crush, my first kiss, often my best friend, the only boy I’ve brought to my parent’s vacation home, someone who has both seen me cry and made me laugh until I cried. And he told me he was married by updating his FB status. I guess that means he doesn’t want to be friends anymore?

Even though we weren’t actively friends, I still considered him a friend … until yesterday. And I guess this explains the lump in my throat, the knot in my stomach and why I couldn't fall asleep last night. That and the world at large was warned to save all Announcements until September. I guess he doesn’t read the blog.

As an aside, I have to decide whether to spend this weekend at my parent's vacation home or at the beach and I'm not leaning one way or another. What do I do about that?

On Fishing and By Request

I've been quiet lately. Honestly, I've been in sort of a 'my friends are getting married and I'm still getting drunk' funk. And there is not much to say about that. Its not like I want to change where I am, I just wish everyone else would slow down and hang out with me here. I'm not sure why we're rushing to not live in sin.

But, Ryan complained about lack of blogging. And because I'm hypersensitive and like to please everyone and don't like to have anyone mad at me, I feel bad abandoning him and the other (four) readers of my blog. That's the kind of girl I am. I aim to please all, even anonymous blog readers and recently betrothed ex boyfriends. Ha!

So, I'm on vacation with my sister and my parents. Which is likely contributing to my current state of mind. Just so you know. And its also led me to start fishing. I never really saw the lure (get it, lure ... ha, ha) in fishing but I figured I'd give it a try. And on my sixth cast, I caught a striped bass which we brought home and ate!

I'm so glad I can be a hunter not a gatherer.

And the high of reeling in the fish ... better than the high at the finish line of any race I've ever done. And I'm hooked, so to speak. Even though I've yet to catch another. Its addicting because at any moment the fish could be swimming right by the lure, ready to latch on. Its in my blood I think. Grandpa Frank fished until the moment he died. Literally. They found him on the beach with a fish on the line next to him. I can really think of no better way to go. Not that I really like to think about 'going'.

So that's me. Fishing, swimming, relaxing on the beach and trying not to obsess about that which I can't control. Like I've ever succeeded at that. Having some wicked strong drink that made last night a little hazy and not wanting to go home. But not really wanting to stay either. I'm sort of in limbo I guess. But there are things on the horizon that I'm very much looking forward to. I'll write a funny less rambly post about those things soon.

For now I just wanted to say hi and let ya'll know I'm still here.

An open letter

To Whom It May Concern,

If you are recently betrothed or knocked up, please wait until September to tell me.  I have already received this month's quota of Announcements.

Thank you.  And have a nice day.

Nada

is what I've got to say.

Life is happening, but I'm not sure any of it warrants a post. Yet, I find myself not wanting to go a whole week without saying anything (and arguably it was Sara talking in my last post which would put me over a week) so I'm boring you with this. With nada.

For some reason I'm not inspired to tell you about how much fun last weekend was. The new bar. The guy that spilled not one but two TWO whole beers on me. The cute boys. The night spilling into the early morning. The fun dress.

I don't really want to talk about my workouts. They're there. Some happening, some getting cut short, some not happening at all. They've mostly been uneventful though. No epic solo climbs/rides or near naked gym exits. So nothing of interest to report.

One more non-holiday summer beach weekend, one week in my favorite vacation destination and then labor day is upon us. The summer is flying. And I'll be sad to see it go.

Perhaps next week, I'll be inspired to tell you more than nothing.

Happy weekend, kids.

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