Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Girl Who Liked Pop Tarts


Once upon a time, in a far away land known as New Jersey, there was a girl who liked to do triathlons. She wasn't very good at them but she persevered because they were fun, and they attracted cute boys and they made her arms look pretty.

But sometimes, the triathlons made her hungry. Very hungry. And one day in a state of extreme hungriness, she ate a brown sugar pop tart. It was good.

And the next day, when she was hungry, she wanted another one. So she had another one. And before long she came to crave a pop tart late every afternoon. So she would take $1 and her building id down to the convenience store and indulge. Sometimes they had no brown sugar so she would have strawberry, which wasn't as good, but she needed something to satisfy the craving. She couldn't resist, she was addicted.

But she tried to control her addiction - sometimes she thought about buying a box (or two) at the local food store but she always resisted for fear that she'd come to eat more than one package of pop tarts a day. She thought she was in control of her addiction, but the first time she craved a pop tart on the weekend she worried that her life was spiraling out of control.

So that Monday, she decided to go cold turkey. Instead of her late afternoon pop tart she had gold fish from the vending machine (a dubious choice, but at least not a pop tart).

When, on her first pop tartless day the girl left the office to head to the pool, her tummy was rumbling. And as she swam her laps the rumbling got worse and her head got fuzzy. Withdrawal is rough, so she hopped out a few hundred yards early to head home for some dinner.

In a light-headed daze, the girl showered quickly and threw her work suit back on. She was heading out of the locker room when she got a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Something wasn't right. Upon further review, it seemed that the girl had put on her bra and blazer but NO SHIRT. Horrified, and in the nick of time, she retreated back to her locker and found the missing shirt.

A close call for sure.

The girl had learned her lesson and the very next morning she went to the local food store and stocked up on brown sugar pop tarts. Addiction is a powerful thing not to be messed with 3 weeks before the big race unless you want to risk citations for indecent exposure.

The end.

1 comment:

Sara said...

oh my....that is a problem! You are cracking me up. I can't believe you left the locker room without a shirt on! At least you had a jacket on, I'm sure someone would have noticed if it was just your bra you were wearing.