And then ... there was one

Less than two months ago I left my office, walked to his apartment, opened the door with my key and sauntered over to his lap. We were 14 days shy of 1 year and had just survived a hellish family (his) vacation; we were not perfect but in my mind we were moving forward. Apparently not. He pushed (but not really physically, it was as if his thoughts moved me) off of his lap and declared that we had no future. I cried. Packed. Called for a ride. And 20 minutes later I was gone.

I'm likely to divulge the details eventually but their importance is not great. For now I'll just say that we have not spoken and are not likely to.

I am a regular blog lurker but have never been inclined to comment much less host my own . Until now. Somedays, like today, it really is two steps forward and 1,000 steps back. So I have decided to write this for me, but also for you ... it is my story of moving forward.

The days after IT ended were busy. IT ended on a Thursday. Friday there was shopping. Saturday a flight to my favorite vacation destination. More shopping. I signed up for sailing lessons, a triathlon, a triathlon training group and I went to a concert ...

The concert was Cowboy Mouth and it was So. Much. Fun.

If I was with him, I wouldn't have gone. There was drinking, and he doesn't partake. There was dancing, jumping and laughing with my friends. My friends were not his friends. Dancing and jumping does not fit his ... errr ... 'frame'. The singer announced that he was going to sing a 'sad' song about a couple breaking up. My friends brought me a beer. Cowboy Mouth sang This Much Fun.

The little light went on in my head.

I was sad. My life was turned upside down. But deep down I knew that I was having fun. So. Much. Fun.

That was almost two months ago. And I am still having So.Much.Fun.

I have a new haircut. I am in great shape, arguably 'healthier' shape than just before I ran the marathon last year. I am swimming, biking, running and pilates-ing my way through life ... and once a week, in my free time, I try to sail (and for the record I also work). I am reconnecting with old friends and trying to make new ones. I am still sad and sometimes lonely but I realize that I don't miss him or even IT and that means that there is much better to be had. Even if that means learning to not be lonely when I'm alone.

So, here we are. This is my story of moving on. Swimming (biking, running, pilates-ing and sailing) Through the City and all that it has to offer.

Welcome.