On Boys

In the two+ years since I broke up with 1X, I've been pretty much on the dating wagon. There have been a few dates, a few fun nights, a few instances of intrigue, but for the most part, I've been happy to be alone. Or at least, haven't found anyone worth the effort of a relationship.

Until last weekend.

Monday came early and I started my week with crushes on two boys. One likely fun and one for serious. It was nice. And I spent the first three days of this week giddy and in SUCH A GOOD MOOD.

And then this morning, for no particular reason, other than that this next weekend is closer than the one that just passed and when interpretting cryptic signs I always assume the worse, I remembered why I was on the wagon in the first place.

Because coming down and the withdrawal sucks. You wake up despondant with a ball of anxiety in your stomach and it kind of makes you want to sleep for a long, long time.

On Shopping and Sleeping

Its been 11 days since the Big Race, and I've not much to report.

I REALLY want to go shopping, which I think I'm programmed to want to do after finishing a big thing. But the new job is not proximate to stores and I'm trying to be responsible. So, I bought the pictures from the Big Race (they were not stealable, and I liked them) and some makeup on line. But its not the same as going to a store.

Other than that, in the week after the race I felt fine but dind't work out at all. Even if I had wanted to it was a busy week of 5K spectating and some happy hours. Friday there was a wedding and then the beach, another happy hour and a ball game. And now, I find myself wanting to sleep ALL THE TIME. I'm more tired than I should be and I wonder if my body is having a delayed reaction to the race. Sometimes it takes me a few days to sort through sad or mad emotions after an event warranting those emotions (which is hard ... wanting to fight days after the mean thing, or cry days after the sad thing is awkward at best) and I wonder if my body is doing the same thing now. Deciding to recover 11 days late. Or if I'm sick. I'm hoping I'm just slow to tire.

I would like to run tonight and swim tomorrow and dive back into the workouts over the weekend because there are small(er) races with Big Goals on the horizon. A mid-September oly and a flat half mary a few weeks later.

So thats me. Just checking in really. And trying to stay awake.

Providence, Rhode Island Half Ironman Triathlon (Part II)

WITH PICTURES

T1 (Here I am coming out of the water and into T1, right before the strippers. You can kind of see that THERE WERE waves in the water.)

This can pretty much be summed up in three words: Strippers.Are.Awesome.

"Obviously" you're thinking (if you're a guy.) Which is fine. You should know that I had three strippers, I think they were a mother/daughter duo accompanied by a large man who I took to be their husband/father.

Yeah, I'm talking WETSUIT STRIPPERS!

Seriously though, they were awesome. There was a long sandy run up from the beach and then I saw them and just started giggling. It was SO COOL! I picked two nice looking ladies, they told me to just sit down and their male counter part yanked me up and I was off. There was another longish run to my bike where I dumped my bike stuff out of its designated bag, put my swim stuff in the same bag, put my bike stuff on and embarked on another long, long, long run to the mount line. Somehow this all took 5:24 seconds. Yeah, I don't know why either.

The Bike (This is the beginning of the bike when we were still passing really pretty things. Note tha thouse in the background.)

I had driven the bike course the day before so I knew it was doable. There is no real blow by blow way to describe a 56 mile bike ride. So I'll just hit the high points:

• The first time someone cheered for me by name I was so confused until I realized I had my name on my race belt - reminiscent of the time I went to the group ride with my name on my bike helmet. Yeah, I'm smooth.



• The first 10 miles were pretty and flew by in around 35 minutes. I kind of figured, and subsequently confirmed, that there was a tail wind but at the time I was just glad that I was moving at a good clip. After all of my hilly, hilly (and consequently slow) races this year it was nice to think that I might finish this ride with an average mph above 12.



• Nutrition was spot on but it required water from the aid stations. I had never done this before but I disposed of a bottle at the bottle drop without incident and as I approached the lady I decided should give me water I said "oooh, I might be bad at this ..." She laughed and ran with me for a minute to facilitate the grab.



• Next there were some hills, but they were rollers. Not like the Harriman mountain. I shifted well and got up them.



• As the ride went on it got harder. I was not surprised and subsequently learned that there was a head wind. Knowing this still makes me proud.



• I was really hoping there'd be someone in the penalty tent when I passed it. I'm not sure why. I guess its kind of like wanting to know who got detention and what they did. It was disappointingly empty but the volunteers looked tough, like they'd make sure you stayed your whole 4 minutes, not a second less. It made me smile.



• Some guy rode by with a banana threatening to fall out of his pocket. I almost said something but didn't. A few miles later, I saw his banana on the side of the road. Of course this also maked me giggle.



• The last 10 miles of the ride SUCKED. It was NOT the nicest part of town, at least judging by the number of potholes on the road. At this point, on the bike alone I had consumed 3+ bottles of sports drink and about 2 bottles of water - with each pothole there was a possibility of me wetting myself. Which for many triathletes is not a big deal, but in keeping with the "don't try new things on race day" rule, it wasn't on my agenda. I'm sure it would have been messy.



• These 10 miles also had a million turns and a lot of traffic due to intersections being closed so we could turn. At one point some lady threatened to beat the traffic by pulling into the shoulder we (well, I - there weren't that many people around me at this time, or so I thought) were riding on. I waved my hand at her in what I thought was a "no" gesture and started grumbling to myself "just stay where you are lady, why can't you people just stay where you are? you're all so annoying." I'm sure there were some bad words in there too. Funny thing is that I wasn't alone at this point. Some dude was right behind me afraid to pass because of the traffic situation. When he did pass, he said "it makes me really mad too." Awkward.



• The last 10 miles sucked but the last 5 miles were truly the worst. They were narrow, trafficy and just generally gross. They embodied all the reasons I currently tend to drive my bike to where I want to ride. But I guess all the times I have done 'junk miles' locally or in the city to get to where I want to go helped.



• Finally I made it to T2 and was THANKFULLY informed that the only porta potties were before you officially entered T2. I have never been so happy to go into a porta potty. I think I peed for 4 minutes. Heaven in a green plastic box.



• I apparently crossed into T2 after 3:43 for an average speed of 15.06 mph. Faster if you back out the 4 minutes of peeing and the fact that I maintain the course was a mile long.



• For many, many, many people this bike time would have been atrocious, but I was THRILLED to have finished in less than four hours. Absolutely thrilled.

T2 (This picture is well before T2 but has to be a fair bit into the race based on the bright glow that is emminating off of my sunburnned shoulders.)

One of the good things about rolling in late is you get your own personal escort to your place on the bike rack and she'll put sunscreen on your shoulders (although, at that point I think I was already pretty crispy ... I had put sunscreen on that morning but that was a wetsuit and salt water and hours of sweating on the bike ago).

Again I took stuff out of the bag and put new stuff in it and took stuff off and put stuff on and was out of there after 3:09. Not bad.

The Run (This pictures is as I'm finishing up the first loop. Still looking strong.)

The run was a two loop out and back. As I was starting a lot of the speedy people were still finishing so the crowd support was awesome. Right up there with 2nd Avenue in the NYC Marathon. Plus they announced my name and that I was heading out on the run and I learned in this race that I really, really like hearing my name. It makes me smile. The run starts downhill and I felt pretty good. I admit that while dodging potholes at the end of the bike and trying not to pee my pants I was also worried about the run. 13 miles is doable under normal circumstances but we were now in uncharted territory for me. Given my doubts, I was pleased at how things felt.

And then I turned the corner.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first hill we come to on our tour of Providence was used as a luge when the x games were held here. A luge. And while you eventually have to run down it, for now you're task is to get up it and know that you'll have to do it again. When I saw this hill I laughed and decided the only smart thing to do was to walk up it. This proved to be the right decision since the only people running were either on their second loop and obviously much, much faster than me or on their first loop and running at the same pace I was walking.

The first mile with the silly hill took 11:51 but after that I ticked off the miles in the first loop in 10:13, 11:03, 11:00, 11:01, 22:34 (for two miles). At least I was being generally consistent and while not smoking and certainly not smoking if this had been a stand alone half marathon, I was pleased. I remember thinking around mile 3 (I think it was mile 3 - wherever 5 hours fell) that I had been out there longer than the marathon and was truly for real in uncharted territory and all things considered felt pretty good.

After 6.5 miles you run back up hill to the capital where, if you're not lucky enough to be on your second loop, you turn and head out for another loop. On the way up I slowed for a bit (admittedly to look strong for the spectators including C who should have been out there by now) and some guy pulls up beside me and says (I kid you not), "Hey, Sugar. I've been following you for 4 miles, don't let me beat you now." When I told him I had one more loop to go he LAUGHED and said "that sucks."

I saw C and waved and felt good. I was as close to certain that I would finish as I could be. I turned and headed back out. Mile 8 was the big hill again and I walked again, finishing that mile in 12:51 and realizing that if I ran the next 5 miles in 11 minutes each I'd finish in exactly 7 hours (this never would have worked because I forgot about the .1) and that would have been awesome. This was a great plan and a great goal for about 3 minutes at which point everything fell apart.

And by everything, I mean, really nothing at all. I was rather nauseous and switched to water only for the last 5 miles but I don't think I hit the wall or bonked. I wasn't lacking energy per se, I was just tired, done, sore, wet, salty, nasty, blistered, bleeding (from the blister) and just done. And I had to pee and knew that I couldn't run 5 11 minute miles with that full bladder feeling. So I decided I'd go to the next porta potty, use it and reevaluate. And by the time that was all done, I knew there was no way I was busting out 5 11 minute miles.

And this is when I pretty much decided I needed to take my time and focus on finishing and not worry about an arbitrary 7 hour goal. So, for the next 5 miles I made little not at all arbitrary goals. Goals like "run to the police man and you can walk to the tree" or "run to the hill and you can walk up it." It worked in that it got me to the end with the last 5.1 miles clocking in at: 12:04, 13:10, 12:37, 14:09, 14:59.

The last two miles? Yeah, I might have hit the wall then. I honestly don't really remember them other than worrying I'd fall going down the big hill and trying to rest up to look strong going into the finish. I think I accomplished both. I finished up the run in 2:37 and my day ended 7 hours and 11 minutes after it started.

After

I found C and got some cheeseless pizza and all I wanted was to (1) sit and (2) eat something that wasn't 100% sugary. We sat around for a bit, I'm sure I was saying random things and she updated me on the car situation and I started feeling kind of pukey and like I couldn't keep my eyes open so I went to collect my stuff and headed back to the hotel where I showered and then we hit the road probably 90 minutes after I finished we were on the road and after much traffic I was home, ate a ton of sushi and passed out.

Thoughts

From the moment I finished and at many points along the way I was pleased. I had finished. My middle of the road goal was close to 7 hours and I was close to 7 hours. On the way home I got an email from Liz (who in the hecticness of the weekend I never got to meet ... which was sad but pretty much unavoidable, but I'm going to crash her Ragbrai party next year so I'm not worried) in which she said this half ironman (to be clear, the HALF IRONMAN I HAD JUST FINISHED) was one of the hardest she had ever done. It was hard but I had no point of reference so reading this was awesome.

Now

This week I've been a bit sore and very tired but not sore like after a hard running race. At first I thought this meant I hadn't worked hard enough but after consulting the expert I learned that this is sort of how you're supposed to feel after long slower efforts - makes sense I guess. So I'm fine. Proud. Content. Happy to take the week off entirely (I haven't even logged onto Training Peaks). Thinking about goals for the fall/future. Monday I was tired and cranky but other than that ... the post race uneasiness hasn't even been that bad - mostly because I had plans last night and there is a John & Kate + 8 Marathon on tonight! The next few days will be busy as well.

This is really long and while I feel like I could go on forever, its time for bed again!

Providence, Rhode Island Half IronMan (Part I)

Or, how I got my hat. If you look at this photo in a mirror, you'll see that is says "Finisher 2008."

So now we know how this story ends.

If you want to know more you can keep reading. I'm not usually a two post race report girl, but I just swam/biked/ran for 70.3 miles. I have a lot to say and I'm tired. Give me a break;)

Two Days Out

Yes, set up for this was a two day affair. Growing up friend, C, had graciously agreed to escort me on this adventure and we started the morning with a yummy local breakfast. We then headed out, sat in traffic and landed at the convention center where I registered seamlessly and bought some salt tabs*, a sports bra to match my awesome racing top and a race tee-shirt (which I was careful to ensure did not say 'finisher'). We checked into our better than the Extended Stay America accommodations, headed out for a quick dinner and were in bed early.

One Day Out

Saturday was the day that the logistics of a point to point race became apparent. I headed out early for the race meeting which reminded me of a grad school class ... lots of questions, many of them inane. After breakfast we headed to T1 to check in the bikes. More traffic. But we got there and I rode around the parking lot a bit to make sure everything was working. Also ran around the parking lot a bit to make sure everything was working. Not the full prescribed pre-race brick but more than enough for me and both the bike and the legs appeared to be in working order. Checked in the bike (got the tires professionally pumped and decided that was more then sufficient than self-pumping on race morning) and checked out the water (looked calm).

Drove the race course back to town and it took FOREVER but looked manageable. I've had some super hilly early races and was not intimidated by any of the hills - the distance maybe, but not any one hill. Back in town we ditched the car with the valet (the VALET) and went to T2 to check in bike gear. Another early dinner and I was home by 7. Decided to shower and was in my pjs contemplating renting a movie when the phone rang and ...

... someone had broken into my car. Yes, the car I had just valet parked. The situation was actually handled very well and it appears that it will all work out ok, BUT, not what I needed to deal with. And thank goodness C was with me. She spent most of race morning getting us a rental car etc. A true lifesaver.

After all that I went to bed for real around 10.

The Big Day

Pre-Race

3 am came early. 3 am is early. But I felt remarkably good. I ate my oatmeal and got ready largely in the bathroom (I had set everything up in there so as not to disturb C) and was out the door in time to get on the bus that would take us to the start.

The line for the bus was long, but moved pretty quickly and at that point, there wasn't much other choice. I was alone and mostly just listened to conversations and observed a few things:

1. Before waiting in line for the bus, you should make sure to put on the t-shirt from the hardest race you've ever done. Seriously, I saw more Boston and IM tee-shirts waiting in line for that bus than ever before in my life. I was wearing a plain tee, thankfully because I might have been openly mocked for my measly olympic distance shirts.

2. If you're not going to abide by rule (1) getting on the bus in ONLY YOUR BATHING SUIT AND FLIP FLOPS is apparently an acceptable alternative (if you're a girl, I thankfully saw no guys doing this). Enough said.

3. Pretty much everyone is talking about whether or not they have pooped. Its ok. Don't be shy.

4. If you find yourself having to take a bus solo to your longest race ever YOU WILL FIND IT INTIMIDATING. Keep telling yourself 'you belong'. It may or not be true and you may or may not believe it, but its the only thing that might, maybe help. It will help more if you say/think this while focusing on the least athletic person you can find (particularly if this person is wearing ... shutter ... street clothes).

The bus safely shuttled us to transition where there wasn't all that much to do since my bike was already there and it was a 'clean' transition - which meant that unless you were physically in transition all of your belongings needed to be on your bike or in a designated bag. I prepared my nutrition, sun-screened up, peed twice and stood around telling myself I belonged. The only familiar face I saw was Liz's husband - I felt kind of like giving him a big hug because I was a bit lonely and full of nervous chatter. But then I realized that while I recognized him (sort of from his blog and from the fact that he already had his race belt on) he has NO IDEA who I am and is super fast and might not want to be seen talking to (much less being hugged by) some random girl with a likely maladjusted road bike and a bright floral racing top. That and I remembered I don't like hugging random people (except, apparently, when I am desperately lonely pre-race).

Eventually I wandered down to the beach and realized that yesterday's calm water had developed waves. Not that big and given the protected nature of the cove they couldn't be that strong, but they would be a small factor. After a quick warm up mostly to make sure that the waves weren't that strong (they were stronger than I thought, but totally not scary) I wandered over to the start (my pre-race consisted of a lot of wandering while trying not to look like I was wandering) and picked out Liz! She really is the cutest and when the gun for her wave went off she danced right into that water and started swimming RIGHT AWAY with this beautifully aggressive swim stroke (I loved watching what I could of the olympic swimming trials because their technique to me is like ballet) and for at least her first few strokes Liz looked awesome. And then she totally got hit by a wave and I got nervous and wandered off (but she ultimately did an awesome job and everyone got hit by that wave, its just that she's little and I have that protective life-guarding instinct ...).

The F 30-35 group was corralled. We watched some guy get 10 feet into the water, freak out by a wave and call it a day. It was sad and odd all at the same time. And then faster than I would have thought, we were off.

The Swim

I dilly-dallied a bit getting into the water because I'd rather swim over/around than be swum over. I should have gotten right in there. But once I did get in there it wasn't that bad. 8 yellow buoys, turn at the orange, turn at the orange, 8 yellow buoys home. I told myself that by the 2nd buoy the water would be calm. That was a lie. But it wasn't rough. It was just up and down, up and down. Made me regret a bit the combos I ate that morning (yeah, don't ask - combos and oatmeal, what can I say?). But I was at all times making progress forward (not stopping to look around and/or freak out) and because the buoys were to the left and I breath left I did not have any issues swimming off course like in previous tris. On the way there I swam around a few people, got clobbered once when the guys in the wave behind us caught us (and then I drafted off of who I thought was the clobberer for what seemed like a bit but was probably 10 seconds and it rocked - might be worth my fear of too much swim contact to find some fast feet to hold onto) and got a face full of seaweed once (terrifying) and at the first buoy almost headed out to sea due to my failure to site (I think this is how I get so off course in multi-turn swims, I need to make sure I have actually TURNED before swimming off). On the way back the waves pushed us and 42 minutes and 45 second later I was done. And it was fine. I feel a bit bad saying that because a bunch of people have mentioned that it was hard ... and sure, it wasn't easy, but it also wasn't 54 degrees and it could have been a lot rougher. A lot. Like my practice swim with the rip tide. I'm just saying. I'm not fast, but I was impressed by my fitness (I could have swam forever) which maybe means I should just go faster and then I would think it was harder, but for now, I keep coming back to "it wasn't that bad."

*Liz introduced me to the idea of salt tabs a few days before the race. Which was fine, I like salt and I could put the tab on my tongue and let it dissolve. Ha! Not sure why I thought you would just let them dissolve on your tongue ... you have to swallow these BIG pills. While on your bike. If you've ever seen me take, say, an advil, you know that it is a process that involves a lot of water and the pill placed carefully in just the right place. This was going to be the end of my race - choking and dying on the bike. But then I was told I could dissolve them in my water bottle and all was well again.

Magic Number 588

And all checked in.  Already scoped out the T2 bike rack ... I think its a good number.  Heading to bed because tomorrow will be busy ... but, the weather forecast is improving.

Can't believe its almost go time!

My List

Tomorrow, I head out for the Big Race. As we head North, we'll stop at Target for some essentials:

• eye drops (I have dry eyes)
• sunscreen
• water
• pretzels (salt!)
• combos (more salt!)
• oatmeal
• poptarts (just in case ... they are my crack)
• hair clips

Kind of random.

I'm feeling good, relaxed, ready to prove this is doable. My biggest worry is how I'll deal with being done. After the marathon I got really sad - I don't transition well (from anything: the beach to home, finals to vacation, one work project to another) so I'm going to need a new focus. Stat. Suggestions welcome.

And yes, only I would be worried about what to do next before I even started the current item on the list.

Full report to come when I get back!

I'm not sure if ...

I'm stressed about the Big Race (I don't feel stressed, but I could be),

off kilter because of last night's drinks gone awry, or

just depressed about having to go back to work after 5 days off; but, 

I'm one big ball of cranky today.

The boys at work better tread carefully!

WWYD?

That's: what would you do?

If the power went off at work and you got sent home early?  I took a nap and now I think I'm going to swim and get a mani/pedi.

Maybe some laundry.

Kind of like a snow day in the summer!

The Weather Is Forecasted!

You know the race is close when you can start compulsively checking the weather.

Looks like we're really doing this kids. And, looks like it'll be 85 and sunny.  Could be worse for sure, so I'll take it ... although I bet it'll change a bunch between now and then ... I'll keep you posted;)

Going Long

Last week I had my last long swim, run and bike before the Big Race.

My swim was documented in my pop tart post and I'd rather not revisit the experience.

My run was just shy of two hours and happened before work!  Before work!  And I was relatively on time for work.  Nothing I could say would be more impressive than the fact that my just shy of two hour run happened before work ... so, I won't.

That, then, leaves us with the bike.  Four hours with a 30 minute run off.  I've been lucky enough to do most of my long rides at the beach this summer.  The beach with fewer cars and intersections and hills.  But the Last Long Ride was happening locally and I had worked myself into a state about it.  I didn't want to get hit by a car (what can I say?  I don't raise the bar too high) or get lost or have to get on and off of my bike a million times but I also didn't want to go to the local park and ride its 8 mile stretch for 4 hours.

So I decided to head to Harriman State Park and ride the course from my May Oly.  You know, the one with the big hill that I had to travel to pre-race to make sure I could get up?  Yeah, that one.  It seemed like a good plan.  A challenging plan, but good nonetheless.  Each 14 mile loop of the course has 1500 feet of elevation gain and I figured I could get in a minimum of 3 loops ... which meant a lot of climbing, but if I could do that I could do the Big Race.  

This all seemed like a good idea, until the alarm went off at 6 am the day of the planned ride and I was again riddled with anxiety  - even in the relatively controlled environs of Harriman I was still planning to drive one hour to ride for 4 hours by myself.  And really, anything could happen - I thought about tagging along with Sara on her 4 hour ride (and by tagging along,  I mean, asking her and her friends to wait for me periodically and then hopping I wouldn't crash into them while trying to clip in and out) but I need this ride to be me and my nutrition plan and little to no stops.

So I decided to be a big girl and get on with me day.  I also decided to see what it was like to ride for four hours in tri shorts.  PLEASE, do not try this at home.  There really is no need to put yourself through this unique and seemingly innocent form of torture other than on race day.  And really, then, only if you don't have a place to put on biking shorts.  Seriously.

Anyway, I was in the car by 7 and on the bike by just past 8 and I rode that loop two times without stopping, up that hill two times and sticking to my nutrition plan the whole time.  I stopped once to pee and fill up water bottles and then I was back for 1.5 more loops.  And I felt strong the whole time (except when, in the middle of the big hill some lady pulled up to me - in her car - to ask directions and got annoyed when I said I (a) didn't know and (b) couldn't talk).  I passed a wide array of road kill (snake, deer - sad, other unidentifiable animals) and the same guy fishing three times (I wonder if he caught anything).  The other bikers were very friendly - offering a hello or a nod and a smile, which gave me some comfort that if I fell over still attached to my bike they'd help me up without killing me and throwing me into the lake all still attached to my bike;)

After 50 miles and over 4500 feet of elevation gain I threw the bike in the car and ran for 30 minutes during which time I realized I was covered in bugs and had consumed over 2000 thousand calories that day ... none of which I really had to chew.  And then I got back into the car, the sky opened up and I managed to drive home in the pouring rain without falling asleep (always a bonus).  Although AS SOON AS I was out of the shower I passed out.

So ...?  It was a long hard day, but I did it.  Alone.  And it wasn't that bad.  So ... while I'm still terrified for the Big Race I no longer think that it will kill me.  I'm ready.  Ready to do it and ready kind of to be done and stay up late on the weekends without worry - exciting, I know.