I was re-reading old posts and the petite crush on the ineligible bachelor? Crashed and burned. Thank God. He told me some things that made it very, VERY clear that I would never, NEVER want to go there. And for that I am thankful. We cna be friends but honestly, any thought that I might be interested in THAT way is long, long gone.
Good night for real.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
I think I'm back in College ...
... and I kind of like it.
First things first. Work sucks. Big time. Like, I postponed my Christmas party until things calm down at work big time. So while its sad, its for the best. I mean today, I was so tired that my bones hurt. There is no way that I could have put up the tree and put on a party in the style that my guests have grown accustomed to much less enjoyed said party for myself. So its sad.
Its sad that I'm postponing the party. Particularly for work. Particularly because I'm working for a jackass. But, as always, there is a silver lining: WSB's birthday party is the same night. But before we get to that ...
Last Friday I worked until a bit after nine and met friend from work, his gf and WSB out for a few drinks. Friend from work and his gf left and I went home with WSB. It was fun ... but I woke up at 10:30 in NYC and had a haircut in NYC at 11:30 so going home was NOT an option. Which would have been fine except I had to go to work right after my hair cut. So yeah. I'm 31 and I got my hair cut and then bought some random clothes at the Gap so that I wouldn't show up to work in the same clothes two days in a row ....
So, I fended off the guilt on Sunday. I mean I am 31. I'm mature and responsible and if I want to fool around a little, well ... I can. But on Monday the guilt was creeping up when ... WSB emailed. Nothign earth shattering but ... we email every day (mostly) and when we see eachother he generally asks me to go home with him. And, well, it reminds me of college. You'd chat and maybe be a bit flirty when you saw eachother during the week (and, er, maybe did a bit of harmless stalking. i don't want to get off on a tangent here but do you have any, ANY, idea how efficient I could have been at running into people if we had the technology that the kids have these days ... i mean, back in the day we knew people's schedules and when they might be walking where and when they might be sitting where in the dining hall but now, with text messages and IM it'd be seamless ... but, i digress).
So, Saturday, WSB is having a b'day party. And with my own party off, the logical thing ... but does that look obvious? He knows how busy I've been and why I've canceled my party and he knows I might come to his party but ... there are gonna be 50 people there. What if he has someone else that he goes home with ...? What if he choses her and I get sad? But then again, what if he would have chosen me if I had come ...
Ugg. Being a girl sucks sometimes.
But, yeah. It reminds me of college because we're talking during the week and then plotting to see eachother on the weekends (well, I'm plotting, don't know if he is) and getting drunk and hooking up ... SO, we'll see.
I'm trying, trying hard, to not get ahead of myself with this BUT with 1x and 2x they both basically professed their love and intention to marry me very, very early on in the relationship. And, well, I am currently unloved (at least by unrelated members of the opposite sex) and unmarried so maybe this approach ... the sort of slow (but physical) get to know you approach will work? It works on tv. And I can think of at least one real life couple that I know of where they were physical long, long before they were a 'couple.' So maybe it'll work, and hopefully even if it doesn't work it'll be fun ...??
So thats that. I'll try to keep you posted but life, well, its crazy!
First things first. Work sucks. Big time. Like, I postponed my Christmas party until things calm down at work big time. So while its sad, its for the best. I mean today, I was so tired that my bones hurt. There is no way that I could have put up the tree and put on a party in the style that my guests have grown accustomed to much less enjoyed said party for myself. So its sad.
Its sad that I'm postponing the party. Particularly for work. Particularly because I'm working for a jackass. But, as always, there is a silver lining: WSB's birthday party is the same night. But before we get to that ...
Last Friday I worked until a bit after nine and met friend from work, his gf and WSB out for a few drinks. Friend from work and his gf left and I went home with WSB. It was fun ... but I woke up at 10:30 in NYC and had a haircut in NYC at 11:30 so going home was NOT an option. Which would have been fine except I had to go to work right after my hair cut. So yeah. I'm 31 and I got my hair cut and then bought some random clothes at the Gap so that I wouldn't show up to work in the same clothes two days in a row ....
So, I fended off the guilt on Sunday. I mean I am 31. I'm mature and responsible and if I want to fool around a little, well ... I can. But on Monday the guilt was creeping up when ... WSB emailed. Nothign earth shattering but ... we email every day (mostly) and when we see eachother he generally asks me to go home with him. And, well, it reminds me of college. You'd chat and maybe be a bit flirty when you saw eachother during the week (and, er, maybe did a bit of harmless stalking. i don't want to get off on a tangent here but do you have any, ANY, idea how efficient I could have been at running into people if we had the technology that the kids have these days ... i mean, back in the day we knew people's schedules and when they might be walking where and when they might be sitting where in the dining hall but now, with text messages and IM it'd be seamless ... but, i digress).
So, Saturday, WSB is having a b'day party. And with my own party off, the logical thing ... but does that look obvious? He knows how busy I've been and why I've canceled my party and he knows I might come to his party but ... there are gonna be 50 people there. What if he has someone else that he goes home with ...? What if he choses her and I get sad? But then again, what if he would have chosen me if I had come ...
Ugg. Being a girl sucks sometimes.
But, yeah. It reminds me of college because we're talking during the week and then plotting to see eachother on the weekends (well, I'm plotting, don't know if he is) and getting drunk and hooking up ... SO, we'll see.
I'm trying, trying hard, to not get ahead of myself with this BUT with 1x and 2x they both basically professed their love and intention to marry me very, very early on in the relationship. And, well, I am currently unloved (at least by unrelated members of the opposite sex) and unmarried so maybe this approach ... the sort of slow (but physical) get to know you approach will work? It works on tv. And I can think of at least one real life couple that I know of where they were physical long, long before they were a 'couple.' So maybe it'll work, and hopefully even if it doesn't work it'll be fun ...??
So thats that. I'll try to keep you posted but life, well, its crazy!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Wanna talk about the cold?
Because that is how cold it is ... you see someone and say, "it sure is cold out, huh?" Um, yeah. Makes no sense but you do it anyway. So far we've gone from 60s right after T-Day to low 30s earlier this week to 50 this morning to the teens tomorrow. My blood must have thinned because I KNOW parts of college were colder than this but I don't remember being this miserable ...
Anyway, I started taking vitamins, drinking this weird teaish drink and working out again and despite the insane buziness going on at work and with Christmas shopping, party planning etc. I feel pretty good. Strangely focused and not stressed out. Not sure whats up with that. So things are good, if not particularly eventful - the highlight of my weekend is getting my hair cut. And I think I'd like to see WSB but I'm not sure why ... we know what he wants, and we know what my position on that has historically been ... but, maybe we can work out a compromise. Hmmm.
Stay warm boys and girls!
Anyway, I started taking vitamins, drinking this weird teaish drink and working out again and despite the insane buziness going on at work and with Christmas shopping, party planning etc. I feel pretty good. Strangely focused and not stressed out. Not sure whats up with that. So things are good, if not particularly eventful - the highlight of my weekend is getting my hair cut. And I think I'd like to see WSB but I'm not sure why ... we know what he wants, and we know what my position on that has historically been ... but, maybe we can work out a compromise. Hmmm.
Stay warm boys and girls!
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