Mission Accomplished

Well, sort of.

The mission that I have accepted for the next few weeks/months is to do speed work on the treadmill and work on my flip turns. Tuesday morning saw speedwork on the treadmill (4 x 800 meters at 8:40ish mpm) and tonight saw, I'd say 60% flip turns at the pool. I think that I don't get a full breath when I breath in the pool which is why its hard for me to flip turn - I'm oxygen deprived to begin with so its hard to go the extra period of time without breathing. I'll have to focus on that whole breathing thing for the next few weeks. I think its just a matter of getting rid of all the air before I try to take more air in.

Speaking of swimming, there is a girl there that kind of rubs me the wrong way, and tonight she commented that she was glad I came because she wasn't the slowest one. Gee, thanks. I should have thrown down my invite to the championship;)

In other news, I went to yoga on Monday night for the first time in forever and I have apparently lost all core strength because my abs and arms and hamstrings are very, very sore.

Finally, I got a job offer today and it has stressed me out beyond belief. Argh. I am maybe one of the only people stressed out because they have a job offer. But, this means that now I have to make a decision. I repeat: argh.

Goodnight.

Break My Heart

Or: Boys Suck.

Seriously. A boy made my sister sad and it breaks my heart. They're young, and on many levels it qualifies as 'not a big deal.' But still, I wish I could make it go away. And now she contemplating being his 'friend' because, while not ready for a 'relationship' he'd like a friend. WTF?

This is reason number 842 why I may very well be single forever!

I AM A CHAMPION

Dork. A champion dork. But I am also going to a championship. In an effort to disclaim my dorkiness, I'll point out that I have little to no athletic ability, particularly in sports that involve eye hand coordination. Growing up I was always the one to make the last out of the game, I was not the one to be invited to participate in championships of any nature. Triathlon appeals to me because I can compete against myself, improving race to race and while I might disappoint myself I won't let the team down. And really, so long as I have no expectations of coming in first I'm not very likely to disappoint myself ... I mean, really, my goal is generally to just finish - if I fall short of that I likely have bigger issues.

So, last Sunday, I participated in an in door triathlon. Each participant swam for 10 minutes, biked on a spinning bike for 30 minutes and ran on a treadmill for 20 minutes. You were scored by distance travelled and there was some mathematical curve to determine what place you came in. There are four of these races - one a month for four months and the top 10 females and males from each event go to the championships in March.

Guess whose going to the championships?? Yup. I was the 6th female finisher. Ha, ha. I am excited and amused. I've NEVER been to a championship! Until March I am going to work on my flip turns and treadmill speed work. It seems that those would be the easiest ways to improve my odds. If I come in top 3 (which I won't ... but if I did) there is a gift certificate to a very cool store on the line.

Go me!

But for the grace of God.

A good friend suggested that I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. If you haven't read it, you should. And if you're going to read it, you might not want to read this post. But really, you can, the book's not a cliff hanger.

Anyway, I read it. And it resonated. There is a scene where Elizabeth, in her young thirties is trapped, TRAPPED in a marriage. At night she crawls up on the bathroom floor and cries. She's well off and not abused in any way but she's in this relationship that she wants to escape and she can't. So she hides in the bathroom and cries. I read this, and I realized how easily it could have been me. In a heart beat almost ... there, but for the grace of God, go I. If they, any of them, hadn't had the strength to walk away when they did it could have been me, there, crying on the bathroom floor. And I'm not sure that I would have had the strength to get up off the bathroom floor, much less out of the relationship.

Sometimes I get caught up in the race to the alter, but I read about her on the bathroom floor and I realized that I'd much rather be here than there. Of course this doesn't change the fact that if I get married I think my mother might shave her head as an offering*...but it helps. I have not read the Secret because I don't think I'd buy in, but E, P, L made me want to take control of my life ... and while I may not buy into the Secret, I do maybe buy into the power of positive thinking because since I've decided to embrace life and thank God that I'm not crying on the bathroom floor things have been good.

Sometimes I think that you need to begin a new year, read a good book and put your mind to good and what follows is So.Much.Fun. Or so we hope. Details will follow I'm sure, but for now, you should all E, P, L.


*There is a story in the book about an Indian girl in her late twenties that gets married. The girl's mother is so thankful that she's finally getting married that she shaves her head as an offering to the Gods.

Fun Stories

Kiddies, where has the time gone? For awhile now these posts have been floating around in my head, they come to me at the strangest times, but they never actually make it to the blog. So, its time to catch up. Because I'm in a Weird Mood, I'll offer you a TOC (table of contents for those of you not in the know):

• I am a master swimmer.



• My eyes are pink.



• I saved some dude's life.



• Some random dude violated my bike seat.



• My hair is auburn.



• Sara met my imaginary friends.



• Life is good.

Are you ready ...? Here we go.

1. I am a master swimmer. I'm pretty sure I suffer from athletically induced anxiety. I've been swimming for while, and except for when I suffer from wet suit induced claustrophobia, I'm fairly confident that I won't drown and that I don't look like TOO MUCH of a fool. I'm fine showing up for lap swim and doing my thing. I have a few good workouts from the class with the hottie coach ... but, its kind of boring, and I know I cheat (taking extra rest, etc.) plus, over the summer, I got used to being the only one in the lane. Now that summer is over people who are doing a different workout show up to get in my lane and it kinda drives me crazy.

So, for awhile I was thinking about becoming a Master Swimmer but the thought kind of made me want to vomit. It shouldn't. I'm fine. Not awesome but fine and I swam in high school so I can read a swim set, I can circle swim, I can look like I belong ... until I was revealed as the slowest, or the girl who can't swim butterfly or ... I realized I was being crazy ... so, after a lot of self encouragement and befriending another girl who claimed to have never swam in the olympics, I went.

And ... ?

I really like it. The coach isn't awesome (no form advice) and I'm usually (but not always) the slowest and I sometimes still freak out if I'm going to swim and I know Megan isn't going to be there ... but, so far I haven't gotten there, looked in the pool window and then decided to leave and I don't cheat, and it costs more so I force myself to go twice a week and I either get my own lane or share one with someone doing the same workout and when you swim more you get better. Funny how that works.

The problem is that after my first Masters Swimming workout ...

2. My eyes were pink. And, after a plethora of eye drops that maybe shouldn't be combined they were still pink and itchy and goopy. Yum. When my co-workers found out I had pink eye they freaked out and insisted I stay home. So I did. For a week. Which was maybe over kill but ... you can never be too careful. And my week? It was awesome. I did some work but I also spent some time laying on the couch reading. I could get used to that life!

Surrounding the pink eye incident I went on two bike rides (funny, similar to swimming, when you ride your bike you get better at it. crazy, i know) and ...

3. I saved some dude's life. I was in a park, with the tri club. The middle part of the park was technically closed but we hopped the fence on our end and rode through to the chain indicating it was closed coming from the other direction. We were resting, discussing and planning when this guy on a mountain bike game zooming down the hill and showed NO SIGNS OF STOPPING at the chain ... I swear this happened in slow motion and we all JUST STOOD THERE and realized that this guy was going to go head over heels over this chain off his bike and a not slow speed. I was the only girl and in the nick of time I said (this is exact):

oh, oh, oh STOP, STOP!!!

And somehow, he slammed on the breaks and jumped off the bike JUST IN TIME. And declared that I saved his life. And kind of, I did.

4. Some random dude violated my bike seat. The next weekend, I slept through the tri club ride and decided to take the ferry into the city and ride in Central Park. I propped my bike against the little ferry house and was standing near it, waiting for the ferry when some random guy came up to my bike, said nothing and squeezed its seat. I kind of felt like he was squeezing my seat. It was weird. Who does that?

5. My hair is auburn.


Not the best picture, but what do you think? It was hard to get used to ... I would see my reflection and not know who I was. But now that I'm used to it I like it. And, in case you were wondering, like all major decisions (buying a bike, a condo) I did it spur of the moment ...

6. Sara met my imaginary friends. I admit it. I am a stalker of blogs. I can't help it. But I'm harmless. I consider my victims my imaginary friends. So imagine my surprise when the other day, I checked a blog and my worlds collided. Sara had gone on a bike ride with some girl whose blog I read. Sara met my imaginary friends! And I've got to admit I'm kind of jealous.

7. Life is good. Busy but good. On mostly all fronts (except, perhaps for the looming birthday front ... I'm OLD). For now, I'll leave it at that.

I'll try to be better at updating to avoid these epic posts.

Happy Halloween!!

P.S. A million years ago today, I went on my first date. Weird, right?

Do you want these leg warmers?

Seriously? Is this really necessary?

There is a 10 ton gorilla in my life.

I wanted to tell him that we could talk without discussing what happened. We could touch on any of the other infinite topics that we've floated on and over before. But really we can't because what happened would remain out there, undiscussed, just beyond our reach and our comfort level making all the other topics seem trite and he would know that we were discussing the triteness to avoid discussing what happened.

Moving on, I thought I might ask the question that if answered would tell me everything I need to know. But if the answer is yes and not no, there will be nothing left to discuss which will mean the end of us. Of this. And I'm not ready for that. Although I expect it at every turn. I expect the answer to reveal itself without the question being asked and I expect the answer to be yes and I know that would be the end. Or I expect the undiscussable to become too much to hurdle, and this will slowly go away without us knowing why or how.

I expect the end, but I'm not ready. So I said nothing, asked nothing and woke up hungover with a vague sense of regret and of opportunities lost and of having to dry my hair for a date. I'm gearing up for the date but I don't want false friendly. I want to ask the question and I want the answer to be no. I want to discuss what happened and decide that this is the beginning of us, the continuation of this, the end of nothing. I want comfortable and easy not forced and contrived. Instead, I'm getting a drink with a guy named Fred. Poor, Fred.

How I got my HICKEY

(aka, Another Triathlon)

The Swim (42:56)

Welcome back kids. We left off with my less than aggressive swim start, which may or may not be something to work on for next year and the theme of the day was "bad things happen when you wake up at 4:30 in the morning."

The race started rather uneventfully, due to my race placement, there was very little contact that I was not initiating. And I don't initiate much contact. When I sense I'm coming up on another person I draft while I can and then politely swim around them. The only person that I did initiate contact with was some chick who was swimming perpendicular to the shore. And, um, the race was parallel to the shore. I felt it was my civic duty to reorient her. Although, she seemed displeased. Next time I'll let her swim to Portugal.

So, I was swimming along when I realized a bad thing: I didn't start my watch. Rather than recording some random partial swim time I decided to press on without stopping to start my watch. One of the best things about this swim course is that I prefer to breath to the left and the buoys were always on our left so I always knew when one was near. I got to the first buoy quickly and realized a bad thing: I had no idea how many buoys there were. And I like to count them to gage my progress. Ugg. I wanted to go back to bed. But still I pressed on and by the second buoy was fairly certain that we had one more round buoy and then a triangular turn around buoy. Knowing this calmed my inner OCD. There was a bit of congestion at the triangular "turn here" buoy (and this is where the super fast people from the wave behind me were fast approaching so I was eager to "turn here" and get out of their way) but I got around it and the next turn buoy and started to head home. It was on this trip home that I realized I still had a long time left in the water. Bad thing: have you ever been in an endless pool? Me neither. But, imagine that the return swim was similar to swimming in an endless pool. With a blind fold on. Because the current was against us and the sun was directly in our eyes. And in an effort to not let the waves push me to shore (which I couldn't see because I was breathing to the left per my preference and to avoid staring straight into the glaring sun) I wound up WAY off course, like almost getting hit by on coming swimmers off course, but I readjusted and pressed on some more and assumed I was sort of going the right way, and eventually it was over. Of course, long before it was over, while I was seemingly swimming in place I noticed that my neck was getting a bit tingly, and then it was sort of hot, and then it was freaking on fire hurting like a MF'er. And now I have a wet suit hickey. And its huge and it still hurts. But I still love the new guy - just need to lube up better next time;)

Getting out of the water (I made a really funny face) I had no accurate time because I failed to start my watch, but I knew the real time was just passed 7:30 and I knew that I wanted this to be closer to 7:15 than 7:30. I obviously wasn't thrilled with this extra time, but considering the sun and the current and my detour I accepted it (also, I'm not sure what the other options might have been).

Note for next year: tinted goggles; lots of body glide.

T1 (4:16).

Putting on a wetsuit sucks. But generally you can take your time. Taking off a wetsuit in a hurry sucks infinitely more than putting on a wetsuit with no time constraints. But I managed. Last transition I didn't put my helmet on tightly enough and had to stop mid race to fix it. This time I put my helmet on properly, put on a little jackety thing (it was chilly) and left thinking everything was in order. Bad thing: Of course I failed to velcro one of my shoe's velcros and it made a weird noise the whole time. I know its early and the adrenaline is pumping but I've got to pay more attention here.

The Bike (1:38:41)
So.Much.Fun.

Seriously. I'm not fast. And sort of I'm not sure I want to be (its kind of scary) but this was So.Much.Fun. Like a roller coaster fun. The up hills were definitely up, but manageable and the downhills were THE FUNNEST. I even went 27.9 mph for awhile which is the fastest I've ever gone ... and I really wanted to go 28 mph but I was too afraid to shift my weight or do anything else to go faster because that same movement might have made me fall and despite being THE FUNNEST it was still TERRIFYING. Seriously. Shortly after this, I had an ah ha! moment. SBR (the store) Swim, Bike, Run. I am so SMRT.

So that was the bike, I rode, I ate, I drank (bad thing: although not enough, I went camelback again, but there was a crick in the hose thingy and it was hard to get water out and I like ALOT of water when I ride; next time), I figured out what SBR stands for and I finished the course.

T2 (3:19)

This could have been faster. But I had a lot of water to drink. I was parched. Or as some would say, perched.

The Run (1:06:45)

This was advertised as Flat, Fast and Fun. It was flat and I had fun. Lets leave it at that. I ran all but the rest stops which was my goal and I finished which was The Goal. Towards the end I tried to repeat "Flat, Fast and Fun" in my head and I could.not.do.it. I started thinking I was suffering from over exhaustion. It kept coming out "Fat, Flast and Fun" and at first I couldn't even tell why that was wrong (but I knew it was) and then there was another ah ha! moment when I realized what it was supposed to be. But I still couldn't say it right. Until the very end when I got it out in my head: "Flat, Fast and Fun." I finished happily knowing that I was not going crazy.

So that was that (Overall: 672/733; AG: 45/55). Not winning anytime soon. But it was So.Much.Fun. Or at least, once I got home and took a shower I realized that it was;) Monday I was sore but by Tuesday I was working out again ... slowly, but still getting out there.

And next ...? We'll see. Probably a practice tri with Susan in two weeks and then I have some other ideas but I want to see how the winter goes. I have a quasi leadership position with the local tri team so I want to go to more of their workouts and see where I am come February. I think I definitely want an early, early season race for winter motivation, but that is as much as I know for certain.

More later kids. Thanks for reading;)

I have a huge HICKEY!

Bad things might happen if you wake up at 4:30 in the morning.

So yeah, I have a hickey. A huge hickey on my neck. It hurts like a bitch, but I'm kind of proud of it. In fact today, at work, I wore my hair up so everyone would see it. Its from my new love. I got rid of the old guy because it was just too small, and as it turns out, size does matter. So I upgraded to a bigger and better model, and I tell you, a little bit bigger made a world of difference in my swim. Swim? Yes, swim, my new WETSUIT, made a world of difference in my swim. What did you think I was talking about ...?

Anyway, get your mind out of the gutter ...

This past weekend was possibly my final tri of the season (sort of, there might be one more informal, impromptu one, but for all intents and purposes it was the final tri of the season). The water was going to be cold enough that most people would be wearing wetsuits, and since we've established that my old wetsuit was the cause of most of my open water issues I decided to upgrade. I went to a store and paid full price for this guy. I even had a wetsuit expert of sorts helping me. It was interesting. I tried on three suits (which I really don't recommend. ever. it was perhaps expected that i would be sweating profusely by the time I put the third suit on, but my hands? they were sooo sore ... almost more sore than the rest of my body today, after the tri ... and rubbed raw in two places that i apparently over used in an attempt to not rip the wetsuit) and my expert friend determined that my old guy was in fact too small. He initially thought I should get (and I really wanted to get) this cool women's specific model because it had pretty pink accents. But, I am apparently not women's specific enough (or as the expert guy said "its kind of big in the chest") so I wound up with the cheapest blue 70 wetsuit in a size S/M. It seemed like it would work, but I wanted to try it once before jumping into the water Sunday morning.

You call this calm?

Sara and I made it to the race sight around 2 o'clock on Saturday. The race had a day before pick up and was 2.5 hours from our homes so we had to travel the day before. The plan was to go straight to the race sight so that one or both of us could go for a pre-race swim. But this purportedly calm bay water was choppy and not welcoming at all. I did not want to put Sara in a position to have to save me if I drowned so I decided to forgo the swim. So yeah, good things don't happen when they revolve around a 4:30 am wake up. Fortunately, we had 16 hours for the wind to die down.

You call this a football game?

After packet pick up we headed to the hotel (much, much nicer than the extended stay america which is what all triathlon weekend hotels will forever be compared to) and settled in to watch our college team play football. So.not.fun. I have never played football in my life but I think I could have played better than our team. At half time I couldn't take it anymore so we decided to watch the rest of the game from a bar while we ate dinner. Yeah, the game was so depressing that the bartender refused to put it on. Needless to say we lost.

Your oatmeal is exploding ...

Pre race nutrition did not go smoothly in room 32. Sara's oatmeal exploded and she opted for a granola bar. I forgot to get the ultra-fuel that I usually drink pre race with a cliff bar. I substituted gatorade which tasted much better but probably had 1/5 of the calories.

Does anyone have a flashlight?

It was DARK when we arrived back at the race sight. So dark that we couldn't tell if the water had calmed down. Many people brought flashlights and running head lamp things. Not us. Next time. I scored a key end spot in transition and set up my spot ... I spent a fair amount of time making sure that my front wheel that needs to come off when I transport my bike was on properly and the brakes were not rubbing. I kind of suspect they were rubbing in the last tri and was hoping for a more enjoyable bike this time around.

The hour or so before that start went quickly. Long port-a-pottie lines and tedious wet suit shimmying made the time fly I guess. Some random girl asked me to help her apply copious amounts of body glide to her neck. If only I had asked her to return the favor.

I'm not even showered this early on a work day ...

Our wave went off at 6:44 am. Dear lord. This was my fist in water start where I couldn't stand and my first time getting the new wetsuit wet. With the old wetsuit I never felt that it added that much buoyancy. But this thing ... it was like wearing swimmies. Just bobbing along waiting to be told to start. I probably could have positioned myself up a bit more if I kept my off to the side position. But given my typical under trained not in it to win it state I hung back ... next year with a bit more confidence I'm going to try some more aggressive swim placement. Maybe.

[to be continued ... among other things, i'm waiting on official times, i'm sure they'll be impressive]

I tried ...

... to be mean. To be offered the opportunity to explain that I am not what he made me look like and feel like. I am not that person (other than when he puts me in a position where I can not help but be that person - and i'm not usually the person that gets put in the position where she has to be someone else). But, there were mind games and twisted words and we wound up where we are and I don't want to be here so I tried to be mean so that I would be offered the opportunity to explain the thoughts and feelings of how I got here without having to be someone who explains thoughts and feeling unsolicited.

But at the end of the day, or more accurately the week, of trying to be mean and cold in hopes of being offered the opportunity to explain why and how, I was stuck between a rock and hard place and I chose to stop being mean and cold because I needed to get through the day. I broke the quasi email silence and I told him why it was the worst day of the worst week ever. And he offered words that distracted me which was what I needed. And then, at the end of the worst day in the worst week ever I met him at the bar and had 4 beers on an empty stomach and it made the worst day in the worst week ever seem not that bad. And it lessened my resolve. And it made me think that maybe even if he made me feel like 'that' girl I still might need a bit of his distraction and levity. And maybe, maybe that's okay. At least until monday.

I wonder ...

If I'm obsessing over the situation because of my Catholic guilt or because I really give a shit about the situation.

If my swim tonight was so hard because all ate all day was a bowl of cereal and a piece of pizza. Allergies making me not want to eat coupled with trying to get in shape to finish the triathlon in 3 weeks is a rough combination.

If the magic 8 ball really knows what it is talking about.

If the situation is going to come to a conclusion one way or another (see, I am so obsessed). Uggg.

Sliding in Under a Month

I don't think you're a bad blogger required to offer apologies to the one person who reads your blog until you let more than a month go by.

The thing is that there is not that much to say. I've been trying to let my neck/back/disk injury recovery so training has been so so to say the least. I was away for a week which was awesome, but too short. I showed poor judgement around a boy and it is making me sad, but the hair dresser told me so ... and I went out last night with people I haven't seen in while and had fun. And tonight I'm having dinner with two college friends so I'm trying to get unsad. We'll see.

That's really all for now. I just wanted to say hi. I'll post a fun post when I'm not trying so hard to not obsess over the stupid boy.

Later, kids.

Its not me, its ...

The Wetsuit ...

First, two weekends ago, olympic triathlon. Going into this, I was worried. Very, very worried. Not only was I undertrained, I was injured. Shoulder, neck painful injury had reappeared accompanied by symptoms of a pinched nerve. Awesome. I consulted the chiro who told me that participating (I don't compete, I participate) would do no permanent injury but could lead to a "painful flare up." Super. I didn't want to not start, but I also didn't want to not finish. I decided to go to swimming (with the cutie coach) the Thursday before and if I made it through that I would try the tri (drowning would be the worst way to not finish). And I made it through the swimming work out so we were off ...

[as an aside, I'm the fastest swimmer in the class. I've never been the best at anything athletic and while i know my fastness is more of a statement on the other people's slowness, i really enjoy it! if only i could get over my constant state of flusteredness when cutie coach is around, I'd enjoy it even more!]

Anyway, made it to the race site, met up with friend Susan who was doing the Sprint as her first tri and waited for Triathlon Friend (who, going forward, we'll call Sara) and her husband, Scott. Followed S&S to the hotel and knew, right away that this was going to be much better than last year's Danskin Sprint because we were NOT at the Extended Stay America, thank you very much.

After dinner and ice cream I thought I'd be ready for bed but there was much tossing and turning and then 5 am was upon us. To the race site we went. And they decided that there was not room in the BIG FIELD that was serving as a parking lot for my cute little car. Awesome. I was exiled to the cricket field with no friends to help with my gear. Being single sucks.

Usual pre-race stuff. No time for a warm-up. Too warm for a wet-suit ... and:

The Swim
36:11

It rocked. I was not nervous or claustrophobic or anything. Got in to a rhythm, avoided being beat up to the first buoy after which I got next to the buoys for the crew meets and it was basically like swimming in a pool (these little buoys were every few feet so if you got to the wrong side of them you knew you were off course) and I just SWAM. Freestyle. No freaking out ... even when the lead people from the two waves behind me swam OVER me.

The Bike
1:37:20

Um, maybe I should have ridden my bike more than twice in the past month? But I was injured ... so I didn't. And boy did it show. Awful. No fun. Never felt like I was just cruising. Windy. And, didn't let my HR settle down. Whatev. Next time, kids. Next time.

The Run
1:08:37

This was actually better than the time indicates. I ran almost the whole way and felt decent. But my legs were fried from the bike.

So there you have it. Given my undertrained status, I was pretty happy to walk away knowing that its not me, its the wetsuit. I think that barring any unforeseen circumstances and some quality time with my wetsuit I will see much improvement in the next oly ...

The Hormones ...

Next, last week, why did this race report take so long? Because last week sucked. PMS would have been an understatement and ALL I wanted to do was crawl up in a ball and wake up 10 days later. Those of you who managed to avoid me last week should be grateful!

Them ...

Finally, there are reasons why I don't go to certain parts of the Jersey Shore. Sometimes I forget those reasons and go anyway. This weekend I remembered those reasons and I won't be back for a long time!

Very excited to stay in town this weekend. Looking forward to a hair cut, some training and some new babies to visit ...

Later, kids.

A race picture that doesn't suck!

Here you go! Not bad ... especially if you manage not to look at the time. Its form the race that I started 13 minutes late so that time is not nearly as bad as it appears ... not great, but not awful either. Kind of like the date I had on Tuesday ... not great, but not awful either. Just thought I'd slip that in there.

So, my back/arm/shoulder/neck are hurting again. I'm worried that I have a pinched nerve. And I have swimming tonight. And the oly on Sunday. I can't decide it I should call it now or try to swim tonight and then make a decision. But my right ring finger is tingly which I imagine can't be good ... ugg.

Happenings

I signed up for an 8 week swim class with one of the local tri clubs and, based on people in attendance on the first day, I am the fastest one in the class. This might not be good for my development as a swimmer ... but it has done wonders for my self esteem. Sadly there are no cute boys in the class (other than the coach ...).

I was not, however, anywhere near the fastest runner in Saturday's 10-K. Arriving 13 minutes late and having to start AFTER they took away the starting mats (ie, not getting those 13 minutes deducted from my net time) made me look even slower than I already am. I finished at about 10:30 pace which is comfortable right now. In fact Tuesday night I went on a 6 mile run that felt A.M.A.zing (albeit very hot and sticky) at about the same pace.

Having resumed physical activity I find myself constantly ravenous. I'm trying to wait until 1 to eat lunch and I'm not sure I'm going to make it ...

This weekend is the oly tri that I am dreading. I think my mantra is going to be "slow and steady." And of course "don't drown."

I also might have a date this Wednesday. I haven't had a date in a million years and I'm not sure that I remember how to be fun and flirty. I'll try to update re: date before the tri so that you'll know how it goes just in case I do in fact drown!

I am so proud of myself!

32 miles biked. Alone. Done. It was great (well except for the part where I fell over and then almost fell over again but we won't talk about that now). The hills killed me though - funny how I rode 100 flat miles one month ago and it was doable and today 32 hilly miles damn near did me in.

Anyway, now whatever else I do today is justified! Go me;)

Anyone else?

If you're having a baby, or had a baby, or just found a boyfriend or a girlfriend or made an existing girlfriend or boyfriend your fiance, I'm happy for you. I am. But you should wait because 800 people have made this announcement to me in the last 10 days and I'm all out of love. I'm so lost without you ... Oh wait. That's not me. That's air supply.

Anyway, sometimes its enough ... ya know?

Good news is that I'm still in love with the apartment, I've been so good about not buying clothes (although I really, really needed a present today) and my back seems to be better. I'm going bike riding tomorrow. I am. For a long time. And I'm signing up for a swimming class and maybe practicing my swimming tomorrow. And I really, really want to run a fall marathon.

So there. That's my news kids;)

Sensory Overload

I think that is what I'm suffering from. I'm distracted and can't focus ... there is just too much going on.

You'll recall, if you've been paying attention, that I completed my triathlon and was preparing to move and preparing to survive my next triathlon ... well, I woke up last Tuesday for my second workout in operation don't drown and I was in pain. Back, neck and shoulder pain. I abandoned the thought of swimming and tried to go for a run. I made it one block. It hurt. Alot. So I went to work and got a massage and it still hurt. Alot. So I went to bed.

Wednesday was the closing. I woke up to work and do some packing pre closing and everything still hurt. Alot. So I called my awesome local massage girl and made an appointment for one hour after the closing. It should have worked perfectly. Perfectly I tell you, except that the bank forgot to wire the money. So I left the closing and got a massage while I waited for the money to arrive. The massage helped, the money arrived and I was an indebted home owner.

My mom and sister came over to help with some last minute packing that I couldn't handle because of my injury. We then headed up to the new pad and ... the keys didn't work. Seriously. Only me.

Thursday was uneventful and Friday I woke up in EVEN MORE PAIN. It hurt so much it made me nauseous. So I called in sick to work (which I never do) and made some massage/chiropractor appointments. They helped, but things still hurt. Saturday and Sunday were rough. The parents had to do all of my packing and unpacking. It sucks to be unable to do something (like lift things) that you are used to doing. I'm not a fan of being gimpy.

Sunday the apartment was in decent order and I was exhausted I should have been asleep immediately but it just wasn't happening. I was like a little kid on Christmas - I just couldn't turn it off.

Monday 2x emailed me. He had emailed a few days prior allegedly just to say hi but also to mention that he and his new girl were buying a condo together. I'll refrain from comment on that other than to advise that hell may in fact being freezing over. This time he emailed to tell me about his weekend trip to Home Depot where they picked out a nice brownish color combo that would go nicely with their light blue sectional ... woah. WTF?? That is what I'm getting. And I NEVER told him so yeah, its just a coincidence and its not like I'll ever see their apartment or them mine or that many if any people will ever see both of our apartments but REALLY? Why??

It was just more unnecessary stuff to think about. On top of craziness at work. On top of the fact that the people that claim to know are telling me not to work out and I have an oly tri on July 22 ... I actually signed up for an additional later one just in case that one is horrific ... and its just too much.

I LOVE my apartment. And I just kind of want to sit in it and be a grown up indebted homeowner and to train for this oly and be here but too much has been happening lately and while I want to be here I NEED to be somewhere quiet where I can relax and sleep and eat and recharge and come back and do what I want here. And so I am. I leave early Saturday. And I can not wait.

Chocolate Therapy ...

I'm not being kitchy, that was the name of the ice cream I had a whole bowl of for lunch. Dark chocolate ice cream, chocolate cookies and chocolate pudding swirls ... and it was very therapeutic and unlike the drink that was plan B was less likely to get me fired. Sometimes you just have to do whatever it takes to get through the day ...

Really it all started on Sunday with the 4 am wake up call. It was a sprint triathlon day ...

Made it to the city to put my bike in the van and drive the people to transition. Set up transition, warmed up in the DE-SGUSTING water ... seriously, the bottom was all slimy and there were all sort of seaweedy things and other floaties, it smelled funny and it was COLD. But, I'm a big fan of the warm up. I think it helped. Not enough. But some.

We were in wave 4 and it came up quickly. Triathlon friend and I placed ourselves to the right and waited a few seconds to avoid the washing machine. This also helped. I swam swimmingly for the first 5 minutes or so but then, as my HR started to rise, I decided to assess how far I had come and how far I had to go - this was a bad move on two levels: 1) I was in the middle of NOWHERE, the first buoy was miles away and the shore was maybe even further (exaggerate much?) and 2) the swimming to treading water transition made me dizzy. Really dizzy. And I freaked out. Thought about quiting. But the nearest lifeguard wasn't that near. So I decided to wander over to the further lifeguard (who also happened to be in the direction I needed to go) and make a decision when I got there. When I did in fact finally get there I had gotten my panic and heart rate under control enough to put my head down and swim to the end. Not of course without some random dude next to me freaking out when he touched part of this random metal structure that was in the middle of the course - I seriously thought he was drowning and that I was going to have to play the hero. But, alas, he was just over-reacting (I would NEVER do that ... for example if a huge bug landed on me in Costa Rica I would not scream bloody murder. Never. Not me.). I finished the swim but the end sucked - it was definitely long and it was impossible to get in. Everyone felt that way so it must have been some sort of current thing.

Anyway, swim = 21:25 (although, by my watch it was closer to 19 - there was a long trek to T1 and again, switching positions made me dizzy). Goal: avoid 5 minute freak out; I think if I just keep swimming, maybe start out slower to avoid sudden heart rate spike, I'll be good to go in this regard.

T1 = 2:57. Not bad I think.

Bike = The course was two loops and very technical. A few rollers. I knocked my HRM off in T1 so I don't know the details, but I had a hard time getting my heart rate under control. I was breathing heavily the whole time but my pace was decent ...

42:50 for 18.2 mph. Goal: just keep riding, maybe start out slower to get my HR down and realize that a less technical, more scenic (ie, not through an office park) would have been a lot better. Need to get in a few 50ish milers in preparation for the oly. Also ... drinking and driving. Gotta practice that!

T2 = 2:57. At least I'm consistent. I sat down, had a gel, adjusted my new visor (which I love) and had a HORRIFIC rack placement. Excuses.

Run = Dear lord shoot me. Needed water. Needed shade. Needed my legs to work. Needed it to end. The course was insanely short. I finished with walking only through the water stops so I think I'm happy enough.

Sherpa Ian had a good comment - you can't compare one tri to another because especially in the swim, the distances, terrain etc. aren't the same. You can compare your time in the same tri over several years and to a lesser extent you can compare your age group placement. So, I was 32nd out of 56 people in my age group. Goal: be in the top 50% ... we'll have to check on that next year ...

Post tri, it took FOREVER to get home. And there were some annoyances. But I made it. Ate, showered and was off to grandma's for fathers day ...

Strangely full of energy when I got home I packed and cleaned and went to bed around 11:30 AND ... are you ready for this? I got up this morning and swam 2000 yards. My goal until the oly on July 22 is to swim 4-6 days a week or else I seriously might drown. We'll see. At any rate, this left me tired and mortgage people suck and I'm moving to a flood zone and when I got a not what I wanted to hear email I cried. I shut the door and cried ... and here we come full circle to: chocolate therapy. Yummo!

Speaking of Yummo ... met up with the girls for Thai on Saturday (carbo loading ...). I like my local girl friends more and more lately. In an all in good fun moment they tried to embarrass me (cause sometimes it is sooo easy) but I rolled with the punches and the result made me giggle. So yeah, just lay on me and move your arms and legs. It'll make you a better swimmer ...

And speaking of better swimmers, shout out to my friend Dave. He finished his first tri - an oly no less - and 6 weeks ago in Costa Rica he sank to the bottom of the pool when he tried to swim. But he did it. Despite no wetsuits being allowed and swimming to the wrong buoy he persevered (I so would have freaked out and swam to the hottest ... er, nearest life guard) to have a speedy swim and bike. So cheers for David.

Time for bed kiddies or else there will be more chocolate therapy tomorrow.

What about a duathlon?

Because I'm fairly sure that you can't drown if you don't get in the water ... but say, hypothetically, that you and triathlon friend decide to get up early Sunday morning and drive down to the beach for a little practice? You meet up with a tri group that has allowed you (upon receipt of a nice little fee) to participate in their open water practice ... and you get there and its cold, and the waves are big ... and rough. Not the sunny day orderly waves that are fun but the scary, cloudy day waves that can send you ass over tin cans (umm, I read that in a magazine today ... its not one of my normal phrases. I swear.) and that cause the lifeguards to stand at water's edge and flinch often? Have I set the scene?

You're leery, maybe because you've been in these waves or similar waves and been knocked around, you've seen the people pulled out shaken and on rare occasions blue ... you know what this can do ... but you're there and you've paid so you and triathlon friend try to get your sea legs. You bounce around in the waves and its all good. You manage to swim out to the buoy and around it and parallel to the shore and back in. But these waves are big ... and you're not swimming so much as surviving and then they propose you do it again. It doesn't seem like a good idea but everyone else is doing it so you head in. And this time it is better. You actually swim and deal with the waves and you're almost to the buoy, you look up to see exactly where it is and get met, head on with a wave and you drink it. And cough. And realize the ridiculousness of the proposed swim. You're not in trouble but worry that you could be so you inform the lifeguard that you're heading in. No, you obviously, clearly, without a doubt do not want a ride on the kayak. So you swim and swim and swim and are about where you started. You swim and swim and swim some more and have still made no progress. So a little lifeguard guy comes over to escort you in .... grrrrrrrrrreat. To highlight the fact that you are in control of the situation you talk to lifeguard guy and comment that you're swimming but ummm, not really going anywhere. At which points lifeguard guy tells you that you're caught in a bit of a rip tide. Perfect. Exactly what you wanted to hear. You start swimming parallelish (b/c that is what you do in a rip) and finally get to where you can stand but at this point you are spent. So you ask lifeguard guy to pull you in a bit which causes other older lifeguard dude to get all bay watch on you and come sprinting out to the rescue. You wave him off and slowly make it in with the help of your original helper .... but, ugg.

So hypothetically, if that happened the weekend before your first sprint tri of the season you'd think about a duathlon too, right? Right. And even if you got in some decent close to shore swimming after the near drowning and even though you KNOW that you can do it ... you'd still consider that duathlon ... trust me. You would.

Fortunately the day before the hypothetical near drowning you ran a 10K in almost the exact same time as the 10K you ran a month ago ... normally one might not think that this was progress ... perhaps not a digression but not progress. Except it was the first hot day of the summer running season and everyone suffered ... without the heat and humidity you probably could have done better, right? Right. So I'd call that progress ...

Round that out with a party that seemed to attract every single pregnant woman in northern jersey and you've got my weekend.

Hypothetically.